To whom it may concern.
So I am here, all by myself. You know what, a long time ago we acted like a lover to each other. Oh, just a friendly reminder.
Phase-1:
You came up with our problems, bump those up on my face. Tell me about how we should do about those shits. We both were fulfilled by anger back then, remember?
"I can not take it anymore. It's not you, just me." You said.
I don't know why, but I ended up got my feelings burnt into ashes.
Phase-2:
The big hole appears on my feelings, the hole that you used to fill -with those cheesy jokes, those offers to do some stupid things, everything that you used to tell me, everything that we used to do.
I've tried my best to fill it with smoke from my cigar. But, nope. The smokes can't fill it.
I've tried my best to fill it with all laughter that came out when i'm with my pals. But, nope. Still can't fill the hole.
I've tried my best to run, hope all of my sweats can fill it. Heck, still the hole can't easily get filled.
The big hole, keeps reminding me of those things we've done.
Phase-3:
I know i can't fill the hole. So, instead of trying to fill it. I blame everything.
I blame you for becoming too selfish, too rude, oh come on. I'm not playing victim here. That's the truth, isn't it?
Still can work it out, the hole still there.
So i blame God, why He made such thing called expectations, anger, and that fucking thing called love.
Ended up being un-believer. Why not?
Then i realized, i was wrong. But it's just way too late, no?
Phase-4:
I know, the hole is about our routine. So, i search for another routinity, not to fill it. But to forget those routines.
I read plenty of books.
I ran even further every morning, and also faster.
I wrote, a bit.
I learned how to improve my skills through internet.
And it worked.
Still the hole is there. But, i've got new routine without you.
Phase-5:
You left me because you deserve happiness, so do I. I do deserve happiness too, no?
I forgave myself, i tried to accept the pain, even the truth is that we are not suppose to be together.
Yes I do it alone, all by myself.
Phase-6:
Everything works well now.
I know, sometimes shit happens and knock me down, so, ya, i just need to get up and knock that shit, tell it who is the boss. Right?
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Ah, remember about the hole? It already get filled, filled with deep, dark, and cold hatred. Yes, hatred not anger. An intense deep, dark, and cold hatred. Sounds good, doesn't it?
So I am here, all by myself. You know what, a long time ago we acted like a lover to each other. Oh, just a friendly reminder.
